Manager, Shipping & Receiving, Corpse Division


24 years ago, a Corpse-Retriever for Abject Doom was taking an evening stroll through the Gnomish village of Hamren, smoking his pipe and pondering how thoroughly he despised all that lived and grew and flourished, when he chanced to look through the window of a nearby cottage. There lay a tiny Gnome baby, unmoving and silent. The Corpse-Retriever, sensing a possible promotion (based upon his evil initiative and loyalty to the cause), reached through the window, grabbed the infant by the ankle, and ran off into the night.

Upon his return to the caverns of Abject Doom, the Corpse-Retriever was startled to find (after spilling the contents of his Devouring Box onto the sorting table) that the baby was alive and in a state of great agitation.

Baron Lek was most displeased with such a blatant lack of thoroughness and attention to detail in one of his cultists, and promptly had the man transformed into a Sken. However, the Baron took pity on the unfortunate little Gnome-child – with his squirming feet and soft, pale underbelly – and decided that somebody had to stack all those Devouring Boxes (they were strewn all about the sorting chamber and had a tendency to get into mischief if not studiously monitored).

Now, Montecliph the Gnome is the master and overseer of all boxes and bodies moving in and out of Abject Doom. He loves his job with a deep abiding passion rivaled only by his intense love for fine artisanal jams and jellies.


Bringing Out Your Dead Neonsheep